Friday, May 29, 2009

Matt Wieters Facts

I'm sure some of you have already seen this, and some haven't. Tonight is a very big night in Baltimore, and for the Orioles. The #1 prospect in baseball, and the second coming of catching god Mickey Cochrane makes his Major League debut tonight. Baltimore is abuzz, waiting with baited breath for first pitch @ 7:05pm tonight. In the meantime, here are a few Wieters facts for you to ponder.

Billy Mays Can Sell Anything. Matt Wieters Can Sell Billy Mays.

Matt Wieters Is So Good That Jim Palmer Stopped Talking About Himself.

Matt Wieters Sometimes Impatiently Homers From The On Deck Circle.

Most Ballplayers Talk About Themselves In The First Person. Rickey Henderson Talked About Himself In The Third Person. Matt Wieters Talks About Himself In The Fourth Person.

Chuck Norris Won't Attend Orioles Games Because He's Afraid Of Matt Wieters.

Matt Wieters Drummed For Spinal Tap And Lived To Tell About It.

The full list can be found HERE.

Man, I hope this kid is good. The hype machine has been on the verge of overheating since spring training. You KNOW I'll be watching tonight.

4 comments:

  1. I hope he's good too. Baseball is much better when guys like Weiters turn out to be awesome. I figure, this many people cannot be wrong about this kid, right? I wish I could see the game.

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  2. Here is my ideal scenario:

    Matt Wieters leads the Orioles into first place. After the last day of the regular season, the Orioles and Yankees are tied for first and hold a one-game playoff.

    Wieters hits 3 home runs to give the Orioles a 7-6 lead in the 7th inning. But Teixeira, with one man on, hits a long drive headed for the seats. Wieters leaps out of his catcher's crouch, flies into the right-field seats, and in his best Jeffrey Maier impersonation, reaches over the wall and snares Teixeira's drive before it goes over the fence.

    The Yankees cry foul. The umpires say, "you've been living off of Maier's cheating ways for over a decade, time for you to pay." They give Teixeira a double.

    With men on second and third, Matt Wieters comes in in relief and pitches to himself and retires the side, saving the Orioles victory and a postseason berth.

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  3. Previous "Wietercisms" from my blog:

    http://punkrockpaint.blogspot.com/2009/04/wasting-my-best-work.html

    http://punkrockpaint.blogspot.com/2009/04/okay-okay-if-you-insist.html

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  4. Yeah, I remembered seeing your awesome re-enactment. Excellent work, as always.

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