Tuesday, December 1, 2009

'Tis The Season for Turkin'

Oh heck yes, this is happening, and happening very soon, maybe even starting today. It's really a shame we couldn't get our arses in gear a little earlier, since last week would have been the perfect time for Turkin', but I guess a week late is better than nothing. The rules are in place, the Commish has been elected against his will, and we are ready to roll. Let's not forget that I've got my honor to protect here people. Motherscratcher defeated me in the historic Turk-Off 1, and I am personally still a little bitter.

This box has been hidden in the back of my closet for over a month now. I knew if it was out in the open, it would be busted before the contest started. That is a temptation this blogger cannot resist. But now, it is time.

Here are the official scoring rules:

Base Cards

Base 0
Red 2
White 5
Black 10
Gold 20
Suede 100

Base 8
Red 15
White 25
Black 40
Gold 100
Suede 500

Base 15
Red 25
White 40
Black 80
Gold 300
Suede 1,000

Orioles and Indians: +2 for base
X2 for hits and variations

Markakis or Sizemore: +5 base
X5 hits and variations

Yankees: -1 base
X ½ hits and variations

Negative players: -2 base
-5 hit or variation

Coco Crisp
Sidney Ponson
Kris Benson
Kameron Loe
Kaz Matsui

Negative Base Auto: -10
Dan Johnson

Negative Base Relics: -8
Jeff Francouer
Morgan Ensberg

Expired Redemption: -100

Expired A-Rod: - 500 and a kick in the nuts (honor system)

Great Players List: +2 base
X2 hit or variation

(Motherscratcher tried to pick player who were not already on the SP list. This is subject to change prior to the start of Turking.)

Chipper Jones
Johan Santana
Carlos Beltran
Albert Pujols
Pedro Martinez

Great Rookies list: +2 base
X2 hit or variation

Prince Fielder
Ian Kinsler
Ryan Zimmerman
Hanley Ramirez
Justin Verlander

Retired Players: +2 base
X2 hit or variation

Ad Back Variation: x3

: 5 pts (there are no SPs in the variations as far as I can tell, so base only)

SP List:
316B Alex Rodriguez Rangers SP
316C Alex Rodriguez M's SP
317 Jeff Francoeur SP
325B Magglio Ordonez White Sox SP
332 Joe Mauer SP
338 Jake Peavy SP
339A Carlos Delgado Mets SP
339B Carlos Delgado Blue Jays SP
343B Richie Sexson Brewers SP
348B Preston Wilson Marlins SP
350 Ichiro Suzuki SP
351B Mike Piazza Mets SP
357 Chris Shelton SP
358 Chone Figgins SP
364 J.J. Hardy SP
375 Derrek Lee SP
390 Jim Edmonds SP
392 Morgan Ensberg SP
395 Greg Maddux SP
400 Barry Bonds SP
405 Johnny Damon SP
410 Andruw Jones SP
411 Jhonny Peralta SP
416 Josh Beckett SP
418 Noah Lowry SP
422 Felix Hernandez SP
430A David Ortiz Red Sox SP
430B David Ortiz Twins SP
444 Jose Reyes SP
449 Nick Swisher SP
450 Derek Jeter SP
451 Scott Kazmir SP
455B Ken Griffey Jr. M's SP
459B Xavier Nady Padres SP
460B Randy Johnson Astros SP
465 Ryan Howard SP
466 Tim Salmon SP
467 Mark Buehrle SP
476A Nick Johnson Nats SP
476B Nick Johnson Yanks SP
481 Ryan Madson SP
489 Chase Utley SP
493 Tadahito Iguchi SP
497 Jorge Cantu SP
501A Alfonso Soriano Nats SP
501B Alfonso Soriano Yanks SP
508B Tim Hudson A's SP
521 Ervin Santana SP
524 Adrian Gonzalez SP
528 Joe Crede SP
532 Scott Rolen SP
535 Mark Teixeira SP
541 Ronny Cedeno SP
561B Livan Hernandez Giants SP
565 Jonny Gomes SP

Printing Plates: 20 pts (all 4 kinds are the same odds)

Cabinet or B-18 Blankets: 5 pts plus appropriate multipliers (both are the same odds)
Cabinet Auto Relic: X10
Cabinet Suede: X15
Cabinet Dual Auto Relic: X20
Cabinet Auto Relic Suede: X20
Cabinet Dual Auto Relic Suede: X100

Repurchased T-3 Cabinet or Blanket: +5,000

Your basic, overly complicated contrived scoring system that you've probably come to expect from me, since it's basically the same for every box break contest.

Motherscratcher, prepare to lick beard.You're lucky Baltimore hasn't yet stolen your baseball team too.

Packs 1-4 will be posted later today.

Ah, yes, almost forgot. We are doing this the same as last time, with the score being kept by the pack, and total points being used as a tie-breaker. 24 packs per box, and last time it was pretty even. I think it was actually tied last time, and Motherscratcher defeated me on total points. He won't be so lucky this time!


  1. Glad I'm not the Commissioner on this one.

  2. Ok, this:

    "You're lucky Baltimore hasn't yet stolen your baseball team too."

    indicates to me that you have a cold, cold, heart of stone, possibly obsidian. I am now sad. The fact that Frenchy is one of the crap relics cheers me up though.