Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Facing the Music

Thanks to all the talk of me being a coward for not taking my bipping like "a man", I decided it was time to open the mysterious and suspicious package sent to me by GCRL. Since he has already revealed that my suspicions were correct about this package, me opening it is the equivalent of throwing yourself on a live grenade. The combat analogy brings up a good point in my defense against those branding me as "not a man". If this were 1968, and trading was 'Nam, and bipping season were the Tet Offensive, am I really a coward for not walking head-on into an ambush?

All of that is null and void now that the package has been opened. I've got to admit, GCRL would have gotten me good, as this package was filled with multiple smug Oriole faces who seem to mock me even more than the limerick Jim customarily tucked safely into my stack of duplicates.

First up is the cover boy himself, Mark Williamson. This is THE card that tipped me off about this package's possible contents. Who sends a 1989 Topps card of Mark Williamson, and tries to pass it off as legitimate trade bait? GCRL was kind enough to send 7 of them my way.
His perfectly trimmed soup strainer and refusal to make eye contact subtly ask "Do you think he knows what's coming?"

Then came "the note". Hmmm... blame Thorzul.... What's that there in the limerick? Hickey? No thanks, I'll pass GCRL. Hickeys are sooooo middle school (no offense Drew).

Oh! THAT Hickey.... from 1990 Upper Deck... times 12!
Staring at me mockingly, as if he knows that I know what's coming. As if to say "He'd better know now".

Just when I thought the worst was behind me, GCRL struck back with 4 1987 Topps Mike Young cards. Even though this was the weakest bip in terms of card quantity, seeing Mike Young's mug times 4 was definitely a self-confidence blow. It was almost as if I were Deebo, and he was standing over me shouting after Craig knocked me the bip out.
Be on the lookout ladies! There is a straight player in the house. Mike's expression closes out the conversation nicely, and to me this clearly says "He knows now". I've been bipped by a mutha-bippin' hustler!

Luckily for me, GCRl was kind enough to actually send some cards of merit to ease the pain of his bipping. This post is already long enough, so I'll just show you a few.

1983 Donruss Bruce Sutter Diamond King
A splendid card of one of the finest bearded wonders in the moden history of Major League Baseball. Looks like it's officially time to start a "beard binder".

1970 O-Pee-Chee Boog Powell Sporting News All-Star

The front of this card is pretty cool, but the back is way better. I think this is the famous uncorrected Boog Powell error card featuring an illustration of Andy Rooney on the back.

Nabisco Team Nabisco All-Stars Brooks Robinson
Does anyone know what year these are from? From reading the back, it looks like these were possibly inserted into boxes of Triscuit crackers, so they can't be that old.

2006 Bazooka Brian Roberts Fielding Basics relic
Along with Mike Mussina, I've officially started a Brian Roberts player collection as well. People send me a ton of his cards, so at this point, it seems like a no-brainer to welcome him into the collective fold. Since Roberts & Tejada were all the O's had in the mid-2000's, they each have a ton of Oriole cards. Yesterday I heard a rumor that the O's are considering bringing Tejada back as a third baseman. Even though he's a dirty cheater, if his contract is easy to handle. it might not be a bad move.

So there you have it. I took my medicine like a big boy, and was bipped for all the world to see. Even if I did see it coming, GCRL too the time to assemble these cards, and paid to ship it to Baltimore. The least I could do was open, and post it.

Be on the lookout for "Beardy Gets Bipped" part 2, brought to you by Matt, from Heartbreaking Cards of Staggering Genius.


  1. The 2009 Standard Catalog of Baseball cards says:
    2000 Team Nabisco All Stars
    This series was issued in Nabisco snack and cookie packages. Fronts have color photos on which team logos have been removed. The player figure is set against a background that has a large purple-blue baseball at bottom and red and white rays at top. The sponsor logo is at top-right. Backs have a smaller version of the photo, career stats and highlights. The unnumbered cards are checklisted here alphabetically.

    (1) Lawrence “Yogi” Berra
    (2) Gary Carter
    (3) Orlando Cepeda
    (4) George Foster
    (5) Steve Garvey
    (6) John Kruk
    (7) Joe Morgan
    (8) Dot Richardson
    (9) Brooks Robinson
    (10) Mike Schmidt
    (11) Ozzie Smith

  2. That Bazooka Basics Brian Roberts is well worth a bipping... Bring it on I say!

  3. Those Nabisco and Bazooka cards are nice. I am starting to take a real shine to brand name cards.

  4. Beardy! You effing a-hole!

    You make everything a effing travesty!

    What about that sh!t about Vietnam!

    What the eff does Vietnam have to do with anything! What the eff were you talking about?!

  5. i am sure that you are aware - the french gives it away - but that boog is o-pee-chee, not topps. there might have been another 1970 opc card in the package as well.

  6. GCRL- I have made the correction, and no, I didn't notice. You give me too much credit. I couldn't get over the photo and paid no attention at all to the smarmy french text.